The 7th Secondary School Philosophy Conference 2024
Video link: https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV14D2iYBEPP/
SSPC Presentation
October 4th, 2024. Topic: Ecofeminist Lens in Viewing Anthropocentrism in the Anthropocene.
一直很想好好写一篇这样的回顾，但因为事务繁忙一直没来得及。
这一次来到杭州，认识新的朋友，也是认识新的自己，感觉收获很大，在活动过程中也有激动、疑惑，等等交杂着的情绪。第一次认识中学生哲学大会，是在三年前第五届的大会。彼时，我作为旁听参与活动，抱着热情努力地学习着台上发言同学的报告分享。那时的我就开始总举手问问题，因为我的确带着这些问题作为前进的动力。在读书之余，也希望能就着这些问题进行探讨。这一次来到大会，我们处处是这样的机会。三天满满的活动安排，让活动结束后的每天晚上，也变成了难得的自由讨论时间。作为这次其中一位发言成员，我也在讨论中了解了许多不同视角，反思我的哲学探索和理解。这三天的畅所欲言、密集学习，让我心中充满了愉悦和幸福，也很感谢本次大会的所有工作人员，感恩结识与会参与者们，感谢老师、家人的支持。
But thinking continued after I wrote the above texts. Starting from October, which was right after I went back from SSPC, I have been doubting a lot about myself. While that seemed to bring a lot of struggles and confusions, it marked as an embark of my transition in my life.
I soon turned to 18 after I came back. It was much different from what I expected when I was very young, and I somehow turned more “mature” but not as “boring” as I thought, (nor I became more uncontrollable).
But turning to 18 isn’t like a magic trick suddenly fall onto me; things haven’t solved in the past continued to my then-future, my present. So I have been consistently reflecting and solidifying a stable identity of myself. Many characters popped into my mind, like myself, in different parallel worlds, but my task in this main world always seemed to be picking an identity to hold.
And yes, while everyone changes throughout their life, I have designed changes and approaches to cope with changes for each one of my characters. Myself being relatively transparent, which is also the overlapping of so many characters that exist in my mind.
But essentially, what is mind? And what is the world? What is knowledge?
I may answer these questions through voices of my characters, but their debates are buzzling so that the main character, the I, know nothing.
At the same time, the “I” is always capitalized and exists so frequently in all of my writings, as long as I put emotions in it. It exists in my spoken words, my written texts, and even through acoustic sources - I am more aware of this letter, this syllabus, and the words being spoken by others.
Before knowing the facts, my imagination led me to the free (off-track) interpretation of what I learned. “Ego” is I in Latin. It is also what Freud proposed about the Id-Ego-Superego model. I connected “sum” in Latin and “sum” in modern English together, for a moment (which turned out they have very DISTINCT roots, lol.) In recent days, I have become strangely interested in learning (new) languages (like Latin and Greek) and coding. None of them had I expected when I dreamt about my life after 18.
(If I let my mind fly, the above texts are something I will write naturally, and I feel great relief after they are recorded. I have been dreaming of a BCI machine that directly turns my thoughts into words from 10 years ago until now. Maybe it will appear in the future, but the future of everything is unpredictable.)
So, what I am trying to talk about here is a reflection on my learning habits. I am too easily influenced by external stimuli and thought I’d have to calm my heart a little. I always seek for the latest theories and studies, being fascinated about the interpretation and digestion of the classical theories. I’ve become too used to the critical glasses before I see things with my bare eyes.
Sometimes, I feel like I am a pair of air-pod, a watch, a pen, a pencil case, or similar things. I went back and forth to the Lost & Found box, Lost and Found, Lost and Found.
According to the famous psychological model, it is the right time to be in conflict about my identity, but this crisis started when I was seven when I avoided a staircase to the playground because there was a religious image that I should not have seen. Similarly, I may not pass the trust vs mistrust stage.
